Hey, Lovelies! ☁️This is not a post I ever seen myself making, especially almost 2 years ago when I started this blog, but even recently I never seen myself even talking about the subject online like this, but I feel it’s important for me to talk about just in case someone was curious. Keep in mind this was just my personal experience but I knew a lot of people who went through the same and never talked about it, and if they had I probably wouldn’t have ever started smoking in the first place. Please go into this post judgement free, I’m still young, you live and you learn. ☁️
- The effect it had on my anxiety/depression.
Don’t get me wrong, going in to smoking I knew that sometimes it could make you anxious and it definitely doesn’t mix well with anxiety/depression medication, but what I experienced was never a possibility I even considered. I started to struggle with dissociation really badly whenever I started smoking. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t remember basically anything, I never talked, I never felt like I was ever present in my body, it felt like I was constantly being involved in life but not experiencing it if that makes sense. I never felt aware of my life and I was missing out on everything. Its medically proven that THC can cause dissociation with people who struggle with anxiety and depression so please keep that in mind.
2. Memory gaps.
No, smoking is not like drinking, you don’t blackout or get disoriented and forget everything, but it does make some memories a bit more fuzzy than others. I would smoke with friends and 30 minutes later have to remind myself of what just happened and I’d repeat that throughout the night and the next day I’d wake up and have to remind myself of what happened and get the full picture again, but it didn’t always work. I started taking videos everytime I smoked that I could watch to jog my memory if wanted.
3. Forming a habit.
Weed isn’t addictive, but it does become a habit if you do it often, do anything for 7 days to form a habit right? Having weed become a habit was the most agitating part. It never failed every night I went to my room and smoking and watched Netflix or listened to music, which was fun at first until I realized what a waste of time it was and how easily bored I got smoking on my own.
4. Loss of interest.
This goes along with the dissociation part but the more I started smoking the more I stopped writing, I stopped reading, I stopped working out I stopped my blog. Every hobby I had just left my brain and all I did was take care of my mom, hang out with friends and smoke. I lost all interest in doing any hobbies I loved before.
I’d like to reiterate that this was obviously just my personal experience. It’s very known that you need a very healthy mental state to smoke and be able to still live your life the way you needed, and I very obviously wasn’t and I know that now. I’m making this post solely because I’ve never encouraged or pressured anyone to smoke, but I’ve never given anyone reasons why they should think twice, and I’m hoping this will do that. ☁️